i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
