her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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