I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
