Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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