i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
