Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
