i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My cat gives me a boner
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
