i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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