See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
