I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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