I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
