Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
