Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
