Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
