Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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