i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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