It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
