The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
