I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
