Your dad touched me again.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
