Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
