so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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