puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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