i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
