how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
