Having a random hookup so left but love u
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
