If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
