whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
