remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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