please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
