she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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