You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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