Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
