I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
