the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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