This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize