party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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