If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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