I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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