It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
