I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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