An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
