Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
