we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
