Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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