so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
