I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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