If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
