I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
