And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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