I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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