I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
