Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
