Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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