I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
