i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize