I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
