and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
