Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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