Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
