Dude my mom stole all your condoms
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
