i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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