You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize