he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
