Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
