THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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