if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
