If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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