AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
