I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
